You're back in the game
Sharpen your pencils and start fresh
For most of us, the end of August used to mark the start of a brand new school year. Maybe for some of us, it still does. The little consumerist in me used to love the dopamine hit from seeing all my new things pile up. A pencil case from WHSmith, a bag that was impractical but bang on trend and shoes that I’m likely still feeling the effects of today. The insecure teenage girl in me used to love the opportunity for reinvention. New year, new me. The possibility that everything could change. An anxious excitement layered with anticipation for the year ahead.
It’s a time that pulls you back out from the trundling day-to-day to look at the bigger picture. We’ve been ingrained from an early age to treat the turn of autumn as a new beginning. Programmed to deeply mourn summer, unlike any other season and start to make preparations as we start our descent into the oncoming winter. My birthday is in October (and yes, I do like presents if you were wondering) so I find it’s a doubly focused period for me of wrapping up, reflectioning and setting new intentions. Welcoming in new possibilities of the unknown with open arms.
I’ve said it a lot that I’ve found summer quite hard to find the time to write. It sort of seems to be the norm across the board from what I can tell. I see other writers on Substack taking breaks and time off. Perhaps substituting their regular posts for guest columns, or sharing in their own creativity struggles. It’s very reassuring. As this is the longest I’ve maintained a steady consistency with my writing I’ve been trying to keep an open mind towards the lulls. In the past, I’ve found it so easy to shame myself that I’m not doing enough. Feeling like the quality of my work isn’t up to scratch and ultimately just demotivating myself. It’s the kind of mentality that makes it all too easy to drop the pen, do a big sigh and say “I give up”.
Drafting has always been about showing up and getting something on the page. Not getting caught up in the output or letting the fear of judgement consume me. I feel like I’ve also been honest in saying there have been weeks when I’ve thought something I’ve written here is a bit crap. Or a bit of a cop-out, usually because I ran out of time. It’s not meant to be self-deprecating in like, a “tortured artist” way or anything. Sometimes, I can do better. So I’m trying instead to understand more about the process of what works and what doesn't. Taking wisdom from
, I shall learn to work in flow with the seasons and not against them. I think part of that is accepting my ‘Big Magic’ needs a bit of a rest when the days are long and the sun is shining. I need to convince myself a little more that rest doesn’t equal failure, but reinvigoration. Because come September, it’s time to knuckle down again.So basically I now feel ready to pull a Sheryl Sandberg and absolutely lean right in! I want new notebooks, a special pen and a big fat writing plan sorted as soon as possible. I think I want to plan another solo trip as well. It did so much for generating inspiration. Wandering around newly discovered worlds all by myself. Notebook back firmly in hand, ready to write down every little thought, idea and draft that comes my way. Sounds like a great way to kick things off to me.