This week I watched Barbie Dreamhouse Challenge, a TV show that sees designers and renovators from other TV shows battle it out to convert a normal house into one of Barbie’s (and my) dreams. It made for perfect cosy Sunday watching. One of the things I liked most about it was there seemed to be absolutely no budget. Teams were allowed to let their ideas run wild in each of their allocated spaces and encouraged not to hold back on Barbie-fying. Every space needed a toy like element, think hidden compartments and magic buttons. I was in awe of some things that were created.
It was all very pink and full of Barbie nostalgia from decades gone by. It led to much sofa talk and commentary with my friends remembering and comparing all the dolls and toys we loved to play with as children. Guess I can add this to the list of why I love the female flatshare. My favourite was probably a Barbie in The Nutcracker doll. She looked exactly as she appeared in the film, with a pink puffy dress and curly hair. It’s still one of my favourite films to watch at Christmas.
I considered after whether I liked the creative element of the show so much because it had stabilisers on. Like bowling with the bumpers up. Someone else was setting the brief. There were clear rules around the creative licence and freedom people were able to take, all judged and validated by other people. I have such a fear of failure when it comes to writing and being creative. The allure of being told you can do whatever you like as long as it meets this criteria is appealing to me. A cushion, a safety net. It’s something I find hard to untangle myself from, but this is why I’m so proud of myself for Drafting. A small risk yet a big win when it comes to giving myself creative validation.
I went for a walk in the rain, what else is there to do? I saw a little girl in wellies jumping in muddy puddles, droplets splashing up onto her tights. I doubt her thought process went much further than “Yay this is fun!” My interpretation was a little different. I think we’re often told to embrace our inner child and all their magic and wonder without perhaps stopping to think what that really means. Many dismiss the idea of bringing childlike tendencies into their adulthood (and many rightly should remain just where they are, say, not being toilet trained or walking around with a dummy in). But children don’t worry about the consequences when they’ve got tunnel vision for something fun. Yes, someone was thinking about the muddy tights and the mess. Not her though. She was lost in the moment, completely carried away and that’s the childlike tendency I need to welcome in.
I decided against rolling around in the mud. I came home and started writing. Trying not to overthink it, I just put pen to paper to see what would come out if I weren’t judging the words and worrying too much about it all being perfect. Or worrying at all.