Who runs the world? Your older sister
You're not bossy, you're a leader
I wrote out a skeletal plan for a piece ages ago, maybe even years, about reframing women’s key skills. The qualities women specifically are told they possess. Things like being bossy. Which actually translates as “Wow you have great leadership qualities”. Or emotional. Which also translates as “You have a lot of empathy and would be a great leader championing for others”. Basically where I got to is that women have the fundamentals for being great leaders. The idea came to me because I was thinking how great would it be if we were taught earlier on in life that these “soft skills” are in fact defining attributes that will help to make us successful. Instead of having to dismantle in my twenties what it meant to be labelled “bossy”. Throughout time, women have been taught to doubt and question themselves, and to disappear into the shadows. Sigh.
Then when I was drafting it out, I thought it would be even better to hone in on the trials, tribulations and responsibilities that rest upon the shoulder of the oldest daughter. I saw it being a kind of back-in-the-day Mizz Magazine piece like “7 reasons why older sisters are…” Something like great leaders, maybe. And very humble, clearly. I obviously want to stress the joviality of this post. And yet, it's all still kind of true. But no hate on younger sisters. Or brothers. Or siblings of any description, in any birth order. Older sisters just knock it out the park.
I can practically imagine reading the silly little online blogs or magazine articles as a teen that outline key transferable soft skills about older sister qualities. Things I possess that have shaped my personality and made me great at what I do.
More recently, I’ve seen swathes of ‘older sister’ memes that make light of the shared experiences we have. Oh so validating. All of the attributes, there in Tweets and gifs, that we demonstrated growing up. All that paved the way for us to become the women we are today. Strong leaders of the pack. I did a Google search for some good ones writing this and of course, the first result was from a Buzzfeed article. I am so on the money.
Here are some of my favourites.
Always the second in command. The deputy, the vice. Holding down the fort in the absence of parental supervision.
The peacemaker. The negotiator. The wise one with the lived experience, ready to offer comfort and often unsolicited advice.
This one absolutely hits hard. I shall name no names but I have two younger sisters and this is a very accurate representation of the catalyst for numerous teenage arguments with a particular one of them.
When I went back home-home for a few days, my mum picked me up from the station. Very quickly we got onto how nice it was for me to be home and how it’s a shame that not all of us, my siblings and I, seem to be at home at the same time anymore. All now in our mid to late twenties, busy building our own lives and flying the nest. At one point, she laughed and said something about me whipping the rest of them into shape. Getting them to do all sorts of activities and games. I replied saying that I had a vision and that I was lucky enough to have 3 younger siblings who could execute all my plans. Performing plays and nativity scenes, perfecting dance routines, photo shoots and even presenting our own news broadcasts. Before Kris Jenner there was me. I walked so they could run. And that my friend, is the older sister bravado.
* Cover image: Miguel Bruna on Unsplash